It's A Celebration!

August 10, 2010.

Twenty years ago, this day could have very well been my last one on Earth; however, a little bit of strength, a lot of prayers, and a children's game of hide-and-go-seek twelve to fourteen hours later, I was found and survived what continues to be the most traumatic and horrible experience of my life.

There are some who don't understand why I find it so important to spread my message, and who have expressed what happened to me was so long ago that I should just move on with life and leave the past...in the past. But, thankfully, there are also those who know my passion and see my drive in continuing to share my story, and know that my heart hasn't fully allowed me to move on from this experience...and truthfully, never will. After being so blessed to have lived through an abduction, rape and attempted murder, I feel that I have a responsibility to encourage other victims to use their voices, and it's something I'll continue to do, loudly and proudly, all the rest of the days of my life. No one can ever persuade me to do otherwise, as I'm following my heart, and doing what I know is not only the right thing to do, but what I'm destined to do. THIS IS MY PURPOSE!


Every year on this day, I have tried to do something special in celebrating my life, and have tried to make it a joyous occasion, but every day of the last nineteen years, I've also had one lingering question that has "eaten" at me, and that was simply "who?" Who could have committed these awful acts toward me? Now, twenty years later, to the day, I've got a smile on my face, and my heart is beaming a bright light...as I have no need to question any longer. This year, I am not ONLY celebrating life, but also, a victory!


To my two heroes, Detective Tim Cromie, and SA Richard Rennison:


I know I've said it at least a hundred times, and I'll say it a hundred more, THANK YOU! If it weren't for you two, using your knowledge and experience in doing what you both felt was appropriate for my case and me, this would have been another anniversary where I'd be sitting here wondering who did this, who else had been a victim at the hands of this person, and when the time would come for me to get answers. Thankfully, this year, I've got all of the answers, and together, we've potentially saved the lives of others and together we've been able to make a difference in the lives of thousands of victims all around the World...I cannot express to you enough how much you both mean to me, and the pride I feel just knowing you two. I hope that others involved in law enforcement will learn from your mannerisms and work, because you are both the perfect example of what those in law enforcement should be. You both work not only because they are your jobs, but because you really and truly care, and want to make a difference. Thank you over and over, not only for giving me answers, but for putting your hearts into my case, and changing my life forever. This gift of peace you've both given me, has been the greatest gift I've ever received.



Peace this August 10th. No longer do I go to bed at night wondering who, or worrying about this person attacking others, as now we all know Dennis Earl Bradford was arrested October 13, 2009. On that day, nineteen years of prayers were answered. I would like to also take a moment to tell everyone, incase I've never said it, that I am still brought to tears at the many self-less acts of those who prayed and continue to keep me in their prayers, those who helped search for me and distribute fliers when I went missing, the cards and flowers I received in the hospital in 1990, and last year on the day of the arrest, the fundraisers that members of the community put together for medical expenses all of those years ago, the work of the officers that responded to the scene back in 1990 and everyone involved; including the officers and investigators at Dickinson PD, Galveston Co. Sheriff's OFfice, FBI, and the Texas Rangers. And, a special thank you to those at the North Little Rock PD who helped prepare with Cromie and Rennison and aided in the arrest of Bradford. Also, thank you to those supportive family members, friends, and my Jonathan, who have all guided me along at different points throughout the last twenty years...thank you for listening to me talk endlessly and openly about my experience, thank you for having open hearts and minds, and thank you for allowing me to smile, cry, and at times, yell if needed...all without judging me, and knowing how important this was to me to keep seeking an answer until an arrest was made.



I say that my heart will not ever allow me to fully move on, because there are countless victims out there, afraid to come forward, so I will forever use my experience as motivation to do what I am incredibly passionate about, and that is sharing my story and fighting to make a difference in this sometimes-cruel World we all live in. I have seen the need to share my story even more in the last year, as I've received many e-mails and phone calls from different organizations and advocacy centers, locally and out-of-state, asking me to share my story with their communities and help them in getting support, because there are still those that do not like hearing about or changing the horrible things going on within their community. I've received e-mails from victims in different countries, telling me either that they don't know how to go about telling someone what's happened to them, or asking if it's too late to speak out, or about their unfortunate and unfair experiences with law enforcement when trying to report the crime.


Rape is REAL! It's happening, unfortunately, all over the World. Every hour, of every day. It's something that no one should ever have to experience, but sadly, many experience it repeatedly. It is never too late to speak out! I will do whatever I can to help save others from having this happen to them, and encourage those it has happened to in using their voices to speak out against it.


Today, while I should be preparing myself for going to trial this Fall, and Bradford being sentenced, I will instead be sitting at Dennis Bradford's grave, reading my victim impact statement. Eventhough he is no longer here, I have to do this, it's something I've wanted to do for twenty years now, although I didn't plan to do it in this manner. If you are a victim of a crime, or know someone who is, please let my story be a reminder that we are all really not victims, but victorious! Please continue to use your voices to speak out, you never know the difference you may make in the life of someone who may just need to hear your story.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your support!!

Now, off to celebrate: life, love, happiness, peace, and above all, VICTORY!

Setting The Record Straight!

First of all, it's been a crazy week (to say the LEAST!) I'd like to thank everyone who has taken the time to send me e-mails or sign my guestbook...I've been inundated since last Wednesday, and apologize that I cannot respond to each and every one. I do want you all to know that I have been reading through each e-mail and guestbook entry myself (it may take me another week or so to get through all of them)....and the messages of encouragement have been very comforting, thank you!

There are a couple of things that I didn't elaborate enough on in my Today Show interview
that people have been commenting about, through guestbook entries and e-mails, so I'd like to just "set the record straight" and clear up some of the confusion:

1) Infertility.

I've had probably over 150 heartfelt e-mails from women all around the United States offering to be my surrogate. The infertility issues I have do not require me needing a surrogate, but I feel very blessed to have had so many offers! I can still carry a baby, I just have to rely on in vitro fertilization to get pregnant. There is a 70% chance that it will work, but I know several women who have tried it time after time with no luck. The fertility doctor I have been working with has great success rates, though...so when Jonathan and I get ready to have children, we will cross our fingers (and toes) and see what happens! Whether the in vitro works or not, we still plan to adopt sometime in the future.

As a child, I watched many, many foster children come in and out of my grandmother's home, and it really inspired me to adopt children sometime in my lifetime. I feel very fortunate to have seen the endless love my grandmother always had for any children that came into her home, and hope to show my children the same, as I truly believe my grandmother loved all of her foster children just as much as she loves us grandkids. I also have family members who are adopted, and can't imagine our family without them!

2) Dennis Bradford's Death.

I have found in my journey, that people are very opinionated, and I have learned to accept people's feelings for what they are, and not let them upset me, because everyone IS entitled to feel or voice their own opinions. BUT, I will say...that no one can ever fully understand what a person has been through UNLESS they have experienced it themselves, and even then sometimes people's opinions/feelings will be different.

With that said, there have been comments and messages from several people not able to understand WHY I'd be upset that Dennis Bradford hung himself. The opinion of most is that "it saves tax-payers dollars." Indeed, it does...BUT I wanted my time in court with him first. After searching for almost 20 years, all I asked for was 5 minutes with him in a court room face-to-face, and it was devastating to me that I did not get the chance to do that. With rock-solid DNA evidence, a 4 hour confession on tape, and 2 or 3 other times he confessed over the last 7 months in jail that were documented, I know Bradford would have been given a life sentence. Yes, with the chance of parole after 30 years, but I'm sure he wouldn't have lasted 30 years in prison, anyway. Call me selfish, but I felt like after all of these years of searching for him, he OWED me my 5 minutes, to hear what I had to say (whether he would have listened or not), and I am entitled to feel "cheated" out of that opportunity.

It is not in my nature to have an angry heart, I just never have. I have never sat and cried and asked questions of "why me?" or been in despair over what happened to me. I've never played the "victim" but have played the role of "Victorious!" and tried to make a positive out of this negative experience I had as a child. I forgave Dennis Bradford for what he did to me years and years ago, but was worried about all of the others that could fall victim to him, and wanted to get him off of the streets, as I've said many times before..so he could not harm anyone else. I feel SO BLESSED to have conquered that goal and potentially saved others!

3) Victim Impact Statement.

I wrote my VIS not for Dennis Bradford, not to get any reaction out of Dennis Bradford, not to get an apology out of Dennis Bradford....but wrote it for myself for closure, and to be the voice of other victims everywhere.

When I did my interview with Jeff Rossen from NBC, and talked about missing out on my moment in court to read it, I mentioned wanting to face Bradford in court to:

"Show him (Bradford) that he didn't win. And, that I'm a strong survivor, and to show other victims no matter what obstacles you come across, or how long you have to wait, as long as you're strong and determined, you can get the justice that you want."

..and by that, I meant that for myself AND for others, I wanted to sit face-to-face with him and read my 3 page long Victim Impact Statement that I had been preparing for years, whether my words meant anything to him or not, I did not care. I wanted to do this to show not only Bradford, but others that prey on children and adults that we WILL fight for justice and conquer crime!

4.) What now?

Was me facing Bradford in court necessary for me to heal? NO. I had feelings of disappointment, but I DO have closure, and I am moving on with my life, continuing to USE MY VOICE to speak out and encouraging others to do the same! My "Meme" (Grandma) always told me..."Jenny, you can make all the plans in the World, but you can't plan the outcome." Now more than ever do I realize just how true that statement is.

I am going back to college June 8th, and finishing up my Bachelor's degree in Criminology hopefully within the next year and a half. I look forward to writing a book in the near future, starting a family within the next couple of years, and working in an area of law enforcement after obtaining my degree that will allow me to continue to grow as a survivor and in helping others to use their voices and conquer crime...one VOICE at a time!

Victorious in Jesus,

Jennifer

Curveball.

Today has been one of the most difficult days of my life. For almost twenty years, I knew Dennis Bradford was out there, somewhere. In my heart, I knew in due time, I'd find him. People would often tell me after all of these years, my attacker would probably be dead, or that I would never know who had attacked me...I could, at times, even see the doubt in others faces when I'd say I would find him one day. But, I kept on. I knew he was alive, and I knew I'd one day find and face the man that so cold-heartedly attempted to murder me. I made it my goal to find him no matter what obstacles came my way. I've had good days, and I've had bad..but this day is by far the WORST. I've said from the very beginning that I've never had an angry heart about what happened to me as a child. Obviously, a person capable of thinking up a plan and going through with it... such as taking an innocent 8 year old from her bed, raping her, and then cutting her throat and leaving her to die... is sick in the head. Even though my heart was never angry with Bradford, I did always want him to be punished for his actions in the court room, and taken off of the streets so that he could not ever hurt an innocent child again. After him being captured last October, I wanted him to spend every single day of the rest of his life in a jail cell, thinking about what he had done to me. But, today...he took his own life in that cell. Knowing I will never be face to face with Bradford in a court of law, reading aloud my victim impact statement, that I've spent months writing, countless late nights perfecting for my moment in court.. is extremely hard for me to forgive and accept. I have beenleft feeling as though I've been cheated out of an opportunity for ultimate closure. Please try to understand that I have worked so hard for almost 20 years for the moment of facing him and showing him what I've become, and letting him know how what he did to me affected my life, and I'm heartbroken and disappointed that my opportunity to do so has crumbled right before my eyes, and will never come.

On a happier note, I couldn't be more grateful for Tim Cromie of Dickinson Police Dept., and Special Agent Richard Rennison with the FBI for all of their hard work and dedication. Both of those men looked me in the eyes two years ago and promised they would catch my attacker and never give up, no matter how long it took...and they followed through on their promise to me. I am forever indebted to these two men, and couldn't have asked for a more diligent, hard working team to put their ALL into my case. I am working hard to keep positive thoughts, and keep reminding myself of how far I've come in my journey..eventhough I didn't get the full justice or outcome I wanted. Ultimately, I am able to rejoice in knowing I've potentially saved the lives of children and encouraged many to speak out, which does give me an overwhelming sense of comfort.

I made a promise to myself years ago that I would never quit using my voice to speak out, and never stop encouraging others to use their voices to tell their stories...no matter the outcome. With that said, I WILL continue on, doing what I've been doing, and hope that I can continue to show others the strength they may gain from sharing their own stories. I know there have been many of you that have prayed for me over the years and I ask that you please continue to do so, as I take some time to try and make sense of and accept what happened yesterday and then continue on my journey in life. No amount of words could ever express how thankful I am for each and every supporter, card, flowers, e-mail, text message, or phone call I've received. Knowing there are so many that care about my well being is an unexplainable feeling...thank you.

A Hand For Hailey

I can barely sit and write this blog, I'm full of so many different emotions, because I am just so overjoyed and proud of a brave little girl, named Hailey.

Hailey first wrote me on October 20, 2009, just a week after the arrest of Dennis Bradford. I was so elated with the news of his arrest that I had been unable to sleep, and it felt like I was in some zombie-like state as I was inundated with phone calls, text messages, and e-mails. I had literally received thousands of e-mails from all over the World, people congratulating me, sending encouraging and supportive messages, and also I had received letters from crime victims, sharing their stories. I had been staying up late every night, unable to sleep, and I took that time to make sure I read every single message, whether it was one word, or 5,000 words, I wanted to read them all. I came across and clicked on Hailey's message, and finished reading it, I couldn't help but sit and stare at the computer screen, with tears streaming down my face, and felt compelled to write her back. I had to know more, and I had to know how I could help this little girl, and let her know how amazing she is for sharing her story.

I won't share the whole message, but I will tell you that at the time she wrote me, Hailey was 15, and living in California, a small-town girl, with big dreams and a big, beautiful smile. As she said to me, in her own words, as she began her message, "I have what seems to look like your average teen girls life, but from my past, it's not." All I could think about was how often this is the case. Everything seemed perfect on the outside, but on the inside, behind closed doors, there were things going on in Hailey's life that I wouldn't wish on anyone...she was living in Hell. Hailey went on to share with me that she was raped most of her childhood (age 3 to 12) by her birth mom's boyfriend (who was already a registered sex offender). Feeling scared and threatened by him, she was too frightened to tell anyone, (as is the case, more often than not, of those preyed on by these sick creeps) and the abuse continued for years. After gathering up the courage to confide in her aunt at age 12 about what had been going on, Hailey was taken out of the home, and then adopted by her aunt and uncle, and the process of convicting this monster began. As she ended her message, she wrote "I heard about your story, and it made me think." "Thank you for helping me and every other girl out there...you saved us."

I had the chills. I wrote Hailey back and we began to communicate, back and forth. She has grown so much over the last six months, and has really opened up and shared many private details with me about her horrible experiences, which are ones I wouldn't wish on anyone. Just last week, her attacker was sentenced to 14 more years in prison by a judge, because after being released from jail on other charges, he was required by a judge to wear a mandatory GPS tracking device, and began to stalk Hailey, calling her, driving by her new home and school, telling her he knew where her bedroom was, and that he watched her run track at school. Hailey USED HER VOICE and told the police he had been calling her, and told them what he had said. After pulling the records from his GPS tracking device, it was shown he had infact been within 500 ft of her home and school.

Hailey, I hope you know that you are truly an inspiration to me, and I am so proud of you and honored to know you. I know you have had an extremely hard time dealing with the attacks and unfortunate memories of your past, but you are safe now and have amazing strength and courage and will make it through. You have impacted my life, forever. As I always tell you, no one can tell you how to feel, or make you be silent. You have a right to USE YOUR VOICE and speak out, and the chance to help so many others along the way. You deserve nothing but the best in life, and just know that I am thinking about you and praying for you, as I know in just short of two weeks, you will have another difficult day in court, as you get to read your Victim Impact Statement. Stay strong, little Hailey, lift up your voice, and don't be afraid to say all that you've been feeling. Thank YOU, Hailey, for writing me and reminding me of why I continue to share my story, and Thank YOU for helping every other child out there....YOU have SAVED lives by Using Your Voice!

It is now my mission to try and change the laws in Texas to have all repeat and high-risk repeat sex offenders wear a mandatory GPS tracking device ankle bracelet, upon release from jail. I know this will take alot of time and effort, but I am willing to fight to protect the children in our state. In my opinion, sex offenders already get light sentences to begin with, and we need to make their lives hell just as much as they make ours. I believe these GPS tracking devices will prevent further victimization, and the fact that they record whereabouts of the individual helps in court with convicting them of being in areas they are not allowed to be. Stayed tuned. Petition in progress!

Fairness.Dignity.Respect!

Crime Victims' Rights Week 2010 brought me the honor of meeting families of crime victims by sharing my story during two seperate ceremonies this week. Last Sunday, I was invited to speak during the Texas City Crime Victims Candlelight Vigil & Bench Dedication Ceremony. There was a great turn-out of families who came to honor their loved ones, eventhough the weather wasn't necessarily on our side that day. It started to rain, so the ceremony got moved inside the police department. I don't know why, but I was fine until I was called up to the podium to give my speech..and then completely broke down. I didn't want to cry, but I was just overwhelmed, I think. Jonathan came up to comfort me, and that was good, because from then on, I was able to compose myself and complete my speech. During open mic, families shared their stories with the crowd, and it just saddened me to hear them talk about the senseless murders of their loved ones. There were many tears in that lobby that day, but also an overwhelming sense of unity. Once the weather cleared, we all (about a group of 100) moved outside and each got a balloon, which we wrote whatever we wanted on, and released. It was an amazing sight! The pastor lead us in a prayer as we stood with our candles lit, and then there was the bench dedication. I'm so thankful that I was able to spread my message of "Use Your Voice!" to this group, and hope I may have inspired those who still, after all of these years do not have suspects brought to justice..to never give up. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends who were able to make it out and show support! I love and thank all of you from the bottom of my heart!
Click this link to watch portions of the ceremony: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrnSrMT8I5w&feature=player_embedded

On Tuesday, I attended and spoke at a Brick Dedication Ceremony at Dickinson PD, and I did much better giving my speech there, and didn't even cry this time. I also got a standing ovation, which was very unexpected and nice! I couldn't help but think of how just 6 months ago, I stood at the very same podium, in the very same room, giving a statement just hours after Dennis Bradford was arrested in Arkansas. These past six months have really flown by, and it's just amazing to me all that has happened within that short period of time. At the ceremony in Dickinson, I met a little girl who is 9 years old, and at the age of 2, both of her parents were murdered. She is being raised by her grandmother, and was crying during the ceremony as her grandmother spoke up and told the story. It was very emotional, as they still have not caught who murdered this little girl's parents. It was heart-wrenching, to say the least. Afterward, I talked with her, and she drew me this picture: This is the reason I continue to share my story. If I could, I would bring her mom and dad back...but that isn't something I'm capable of, so at the very least, I was able to use my voice in sharing my story and showing support.. comforting her and giving her and her grandmother hope that day. As we congregated outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather, with our lit candle roses, Chief Morales unveiled a brick on the walkway of the police department, dedicated to Crime Victims.

Saturday morning, Jonathan and I got up early and headed to Galveston Island for the Crime Victims' Rights 5K Walk/Run along the Seawall. We were both excited to participate, as neither of us had ever done anything like this before, and now look forward to participating every year! Over 200 people showed up for this event, and God is so good. The weather was supposed to be awful, with over a 60% chance of rain...and honestly, we couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day for the run! It was 84 degrees, full of sunshine, mixed with a cool breeze, and we finished our walk in about 45 minutes. This was HUGE for me since I do not like to sweat, and I don't even walk to my own mailbox, lol. I ran into many supporters along the Galveston Seawall who were wearing their "Use Your Voice!" t-shirts, and I was just elated to see everyone out there and see so many familiar faces!! At my half-way point, there was an especially familiar face giving out water :) Thanks, Cromie - for all that you do to support crime victims!

April 13th marked the six-month Captureversary of the arrest of Dennis Bradford in my case, and it was definitely a day to celebrate! Jonathan and I spent the day up in Austin, because my friends at AMW were there filming for another case and invited us up to visit! "The Yogurt Shop Murders" is an awful cold-case out of Austin in which four teenage girls were murdered inside the "I Can't Believe It's Yogurt!" yogurt shop back in 1991. I was honored to have the chance to have met the families of the girls, and also meet with John Walsh for a second time, and see all of the wonderful people on the AMW crew. My thanks AMW & John Walsh, for yet another day to remember! I believe that America's Most Wanted will capture those responsible for the deaths of those 4 beautiful, young girls.

National Crime Victims Rights Week is coming up, April 18-24th. The theme this year is "Fairness. Dignity. Respect." I couldn't think of a better theme, and I'm proud that I'll be speaking at two events during National Crime Victims Rights Week. I'm Using My Voice, what I am set out and destined to do, and ecstatic about it. I hope that I can make a difference and give victims and families hope and inspire them to never give up. Here's to conquering CRIME, one VOICE at a time...

The GREATEST <3Gift<3 Of ALL.

Christmas Eve 2009. 11:28 p.m., and the family is all snuggled up on the couches, watching a movie, and I've been on the computer re-playing videos from AMW & Wheel of Justice, and I'm now sitting here, reflecting on what a blessing-filled year this has been. I know I blog about this alot, but I can't help it. I'm just SO THANKFUL for everything. I just feel like I don't have enough words to express my gratefulness to all of you.

I remember last Christmas, still waiting on DNA results to come back from the FBI lab, and wondering what this year would hold, and my God, it was worth the wait. I just still cannot BELIEVE that an arrest was made, and all that's happened. From the local media being so wonderfully involved in reminding the public of my case and keeping them aware of what's happened over the years, to flying to Washington D.C. to meet John Walsh & be on the set of America's Most Wanted, to receiving that phone call in the early morning hours of October 13, 2009 that an arrest had been made...and then having an OUTPOURING of support, and so many of you write me and share your own stories...I just have been blessed, incredibly, and couldn't have done it without all of your prayers and support.

So, this Christmas, I am celebrating PEACE.OF.MIND...the GREATEST GIFT OF ALL. Thank you all for blessing me with your support and prayers. The power of prayer is amazing, and Jesus is the REASON for the Season!

Merry Christmas To All...And To All A Good Night!

Jennifer